Happy Birthday Baua!

It is Baua...aka Ravi Bihari's birthday today...here's wishing him all the very best in his life! Just back from the cake cutting ceremony....sometimes I wonder...its become more of people bashing and less of cake cutting! Anyways, the esteemed recepients of the kick today included (apart from Baua, of course!) Anshu, Chu, Ghone and Jhingu! Jhingu really got a taste of his own medicine!!!

Oh, I fail to mention Gujju, who made the mistake of staying a bit too long in my kingdom ...the hostel, i.e.! And he got hit!...and how!!!!

The president, APJ Abdul Kalam is gonna be here tomorrow....but IIT is not buzzing! There is no visible security, no police anywhere! Come on guys...show us those guns and sniffer dogs!!!!

I finished my last exam for this quarter today!!! Vrags gave an absolute cracker of a paper..... 3 questions > 3 hours!!!! And one question cariried 60 marks! Anyways, a different paper! Was fun!!!!

So now I am all ready...ready to return to my roots! My home...Mumbai! Can't wait to get back! It has been a long time...though Chu reminds me that I was there just some time back! Come on Chu... that was in August....its December now! And anyways, where did I have peace during the placement trip!!!! So much work then!

Ok then, the net will be off anytime now...Will write later! Placements are coming up! Wish everyone all the very best!

Keep trying!

The fighter....

The fighter is back,
After a long battle hard won!

The fighter is back,
After an eon in a foreign land!

I am the fighter, I long for war!
What it is worth, I do not care!

The world is bad, and I have no care!
I have to fight...fight so I can live another day!

That's the way I am...that's the way I was meant to be!
Thank my stars that a street fighter I am...for I know how....
I know how....to live another day!

I have seen death and fury,
Great warriors and puny men!

I have fought...fought for every inch...
Fought so that the world remembers....

" Here's the fighter who could fight....here's the fighter who did fight...so that he could live another day! "

An effort.... an ice breaker... and heartbreak?

Just another of my random thoughts, though those who know me well would definitely find out the underlying sentiment.

I follow the India and Pakistan peace process quite closely. It is amusing sometimes, really childish, the way diplomats go about complaining about small matters; and how, at the drop of the hat, forces are mobilized on the border! But sometimes I feel....is it all so very easy. Is it really easy to solve a problem with just firm commitment on both sides.

This human is a complex thing...really complex. He wants peace, yet he will not accept it! We want people to be together, yet whenever there is an effort towards this, we want to go back.

All because we are not ready to accept change. We are not ready to forgive..... (I never say 'and forget', coz I believe that if we forget, we commit the same mistakes again!) We are not ready to even think of the times we were together. This is true of most of us!

We are happy to be ensconced in our comfort zones...not ready to move out. Yes, we would have to make compromises...no two things about it! And we would be looked upon by suspicion! Friends are lost, relationships are broken! But a beginning has to be made! For how long do we turn our backs to each other? For how long do we mistrust...disbelieve....? Just move on! Move on coz life is too small for small grouses....too small really!

A small beginning has been made, tried at least! Let us build up on this! Let the countries come together again.... it is a difficult path no doubt! But a path does exist! And we gotta take that path..the path less trodden! Don't forget the past...but use it to build your future.....

Nothing is Planned... things happen!

Chow!

Back to life!

After a few days in wilderness and confusion, I'm back to life! Dada would object to me writing about life 'n all...but hey! Who cares!

So attended all lectures today!!! And went to a guest lecture on marketing that discussed everything except marketing!!!! All for believing LSG!

Ok, better things now! Got done with German once and for all! Finally!!! Frau Bandhu asks me for some feedback....and I tell her that I'm better off learning Deutsch on my own!!! I think that pretty well takes care of my CP! ...and my marks in German too!!! Its been a grade week... first comes the grade sheet...long overdue! And then the legal grades!

Oops...seems I'm writing only about studies 'n all! That's coz that's what happened this week....has been a pretty hectic week, just as it happens before the exams!! Am just back from a session of cake cutting! Had some really good cake in a long time really! It was Namz's birthday and I got a rare invite to attend! So I compensate for the dinner I missed tonite!! What else.... hmm... finished talking to some good friends. Dunno, but feel like talking after a pretty long time.. I sometimes get into this mood when I just don't want to talk to anyone! But I bounce back...'n how!! Ok nothing more to write.... no there is! I wrote some lines during the crap lecture I attended today...see if you like it!

On a balmy Friday nite...
When the world's all too quiet...
I sit by the sea...thinking of you.

I think of the days when you were here...
Lying in my arms without a care...
I long for those days again, I long for you again.

I pine for a glimpse of that angelic face...
I wait for a look from those doe eyes...
I wait, I wait for that day of my life
When I can tell the world that you are mine again?!!!

Random, confused, and nowhere to go

I am lost, but I don't know where!
I am broken, but I don't know why!
Where will this life lead me to? To my goals, to the SUN, that I aim to reach?

I roam about, knowing not what to do... I am a traveller without a destination...
I am a hunter without a prey, I am the world without a SUN!

Let there be light, oh...let there be light,
I want to see the world, I want to enjoy my life...


I have no clue where I would be, I simply do not care!
I have no clue who will be with me, I simply do not know!

All I know is I have some time...some time to enjoy, some time for happiness and some time for sorrows! Some time, some time for all that's ever worth it!

The twinkle in her eyes...

The twinkle in her eyes...say's she loves me
But her lips never reveal this...

The carving of her lips...say's she wants me
but her hands never touch me...

The look in her eyes...say they care for me
The blood red eyes...say I excite her

When will she go insane over me...and say those three twinkling words

"I love you"

The twinkle in her eyes....

Why?

Why do I love...
When I know you only hate!

Why do I wait...
When I know you would be late!

Why do I look for you tomorrow...
When I know you were gone yesterday!

Why do I even bother...
When I know it doesn't even matter!

Why does my heart bleed...
When it knows you do not care!

Why do I still remember...
When I know you are only a memory!

Why do I still pine for you?
Why do I still care for you?
Why, Why, Why... do I still want you, when I know we can never be one again!

Impressions

The reply to my last post put me thinking! Impressions people have... how do people get impressions? Why must you think that this guy is crazy, this one studious!?

They say, first impressions are the best impressions or something! Is it always true? I have never believed in that. And I have also never cared what people think about me first time up! Maybe that's the reason that a lot of people have varied ('n I dare say, mistaken! ) impressions about me! And some of these do stick! Very much!

While on relaionships and impressions, I have often wondered...how often it is that you enter into a relationship just on first impressions....'n found out that it is not all that there is to it! There is something much more, something more than just what you thought on seeing the person! And how many times do you just compromise, just because you made the choice!? So can't you just wait that few seconds, wait to understand ... wait to form an impression?

My friend, Sravan says a boy and girl can never be just friends... 'n I still tell him they can! You only think you cannot be friends because you often enter into the friendship with an impression, an impression that you can be in a relationship with the other. Just take it as it comes, and you will realize when it's friendship and when it's love!

Impressions, by Ray Jennings puts this across beautifully.

"A lifetime can be likened to a lonely beach of sand.
a stranger makes a mark one day, an imprint of a hand"

That mark is an impression...and it is never a first time impression, it is never a quick decision! It is an impression over a longer time, an impression that lasts! Jennings concludes....

"Time does its best to wash away remembrances of those -
the ones we never meant to meet - the ones we never chose.
But as through some odd twist of fate these are the ones we cherish.
The time we spend with these such friends, will never, ever perish"

Friends ... as you will note above... can be either guys or gals.... but the important thing is the relationship is still friendship! Not love! Sparks do fly my friend Sravan, but only after some time. Not on first impressions, and never always between a guy and a girl...never always!

Chow!

Relationships

Got a call from a female friend of mine yesterday! We talked for about an hour before she hung up. I just got into thinking about relationships, but couldn't put something down. The weekend was too busy for me to blog.

Relationships....Mother, Father, friends, relatives, and then close friends, real close friends.... 'n then maybe a girlfriend/boyfriend. How do we relate to each of these? At different levels perhaps!? A mother/father can be like a friend, yes, .... but never a friend! The kind of relationship you enjoy with a friend is so different, coz you relate ate a different level. And then comes the question of girls...a girl as just a friend? Is it really possible? Yes, I say! No way!, so say many of my esteemed friends!

What is it about a boy and girl that is so strange? Why can't they share a good relationship...a good friendship, and nothing else!? People say that love always comes in between. I say that love always exists!!! Love is not something that is viewed in the narrow way that most people observe it! Love is all encompassing and does and must exist between friends.

Yes, there are relationships where love dominates more than friendship, but they are different... the level is different. And there are heartbreaks! And there are situations where you really do not know where you are - in friendship or in love. And these are the tricky ones - you profess your love...only to risk your friendship; or remain friends .... only to regret that you didn't say those words!!!

What does one do? Burn in the eternal fire of desire and longing or burn in the flames of rejection?
As Lord Tennyson says,

"...The silence of all hearts, Unutterable LOVE"

If only love was so easy, the world would have been a better place to live!

Sometimes it becomes so unbearable...the flame within you, the sense of loneliness, the desire to be with someone...and this is where relationships come in. And you never know when these turn into something more, more than friendship, more than love itself!! But you are silent...coz you assume! Because the world has taught you so! As Frost says,

"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the secret sits in the middle and knows"

The secret of a relationship? No one knows, at least I don't! All you do is live life... and wait for it to give you cues...cues that you hope you will recognize!

"They are all around", as the wise King tells the shepherd-boy in Paulo Coelho's Alchemist.. the cues are all around!

Maktub!

Broken hearts!

Broken hearts.... two words that almost everyone who has passed the teens relates to. How many days spent longing for the loved one, how many spent crying over the fights that we have had, and the laughter that we have shared. Yet, we move on... only to go back to them again. Coz people move on, memories don't!

The first day I saw her, I wanted nothing but her. Nothing in this world would ever matter so much, as much as her smile, her tresses ... falling on her face.... Yet, it does not always work out such! Boss up there has different plans!! You move on, people move on... memories don't!

And it is not only a question of love. Best friendships are broken, never to be mended again. And by the time you go back, you have nothing left! All that is left are memories! So many friends lost, and you realize their importance only when you need them the most, when you are all alone, and need that shoulder to rest on.

Some relationships are broken for no reason whatsoever, really no reason at all. And you never know why you even thought of breaking them. But break you did. And you realize how stupid you were only in hindsight! A pity really that man wants every relation in the world...yet is responsible for breaking them in the first place.

And then begins the process of rebuilding... a process as slow and painful as life itself. Or as death itself! Depends on how you look at it. It's never easy... and you can be rest assured that you are not going to get back that relationship again... anything you salvage is only a compromise. You have lost a chance once, the next time is not your choice, it is HIS!

I do not pretend that the pain I felt that night was any greater or less than the pain of anyone else; nor the draw to deaden that pain any more or less powerful. These are the moments when the world spills over with evil and everything good, true, and beautiful is crushed. But this is also when hope always springs up! This cycle is what keeps life going.

As Wilde says, " Hearts live by being wounded " How very true!

These are some lines that I always like to read.... again and again..

" i've been living my life alone
trying to get you out of my life
but after all this time
i can't help myself but miss you "


To all your broken hearts, LOVE... all over again!