The MONK's ABODE

Few minutes past midnight ...

2010-09-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

I returned back home quite late yesterday. Actually, late has lost its meaning really, with me returing after 11 pm almost daily.

I was dead tired and all ready to just park my car, grab some dinner (or whatever you call something had at midnight ... a snack perhaps!) and crash. Just then my watchman's little (she would be barely 2) daughter came running along, insisting in her own way, as children do, that she wanted to be helped into the front seat. My tiredness notwithstanding, I couldn't refuse the little brat. So there she was, all chirpy at almost midnight, jumping around and testing out all the buttons in the dashboard. It was a delight to watch her play with the light switches, her face lighting up every time she saw the lights go on and off. Such simple joys ... that we have almost forgotten in our daily grind!

My thoughts almost went back to my childhood, when I would love to go for a drive in my uncle's car, a rickety old Premier Padmini. I would imagine myself driving a car, listening to music, changing gears ... :) And now when I drive, I just end up cursing the traffic, or the driver who overtook me!!! How we forget to get the joy out of the mundanest things now.

Going back to the little girl, my thoughts went to how she may also become the same like so many of us, hopefully she'll have a better life, earn well; and maybe even drive a car. And then probably forget to notice the small things that make us smile!?

Nah - Let her enjoy her childhood as long as it lasts, and let me enjoy that innocent laughter - so what if my dinner time is delayed by a few more minutes past midnight!!!

Home.....

2009-04-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

The strange thing about returning home is that nothing has changed .... the sounds, smells ...

The only thing that's changed is you ....

back to campus!

2009-01-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

I visited campus after a long time this week .... and what an amazing experience it was!!!

I keep visiting for downloads 'n all, but this time was different. Saarang was on and the atmosphere was just charged up .... and I finally managed to take that long walk around campus that I had been thinking of doing for so many months now.

And the visit to Jam .... it all seemed too good to be true ... a nice peaceful walk, Jam .... the rooms just the same; as if we have just vacated them yesterday! Nothing has changed ... nothing! It may seem cliched - but really nothing seems to have changed .... just some dust on the doors - but yeah; nothing else. I just wished all of us were together ... maybe a trip to Jam together would have been more fun - but this would have to do for today!!! :)

And the walk was just too good .... all the old haunts - Gurunath, SAC, the road along Sharav! ;) Com'on .... I wouldn't miss that Sharav road for anything!!! :D So many memories with that road!

And the Taramani guest house .... so many memories with that too! :D The guest house has gone thru' a makeover 'n is much more presentable now!!!!

Was good that I could make this trip finally ......... if nothing, just for old times sake!

One fine evening

2008-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

This was one thought that continued to haunt him. The way he ended a beautiful relationship with her - how very childish, he would often wonder. All he needed was one last chance - to redeem himself. That she was married was something else that he needed to keep in mind.

He was back home for sometime. He knew she lived somewhere near - anyways distances did not bother him anymore. He called her, unsure if she would even pick up - recognize him after all these years. Would she remember him? Would she have still have his number stored?

She picked up, seemed preoccupied; she nevertheless had his number stored!

"Hey how are you?" I'm good .... "Been a long time - what are you upto? Still with H.....?" (She remembered) No, I left H..... some time back; now with C... "I'm going home tomorrow - till when are you here?" So typical of her to just say everything that was necessary! I'm here till next week - am on a holiday "Where do you stay?" Ch..... "Don't tell me! I stay there too - listen let's meet up today - I'll reach there in 20 mins" Sure...

He was still not sure if all this was happening for real! He could finally meet her - maybe even get a chance to apologize for what happened then.

He waited eagerly outside the station - still confused about how she may react when they finally met. Then he saw her - he tapped her on her back! A bright smile, the same warm hug! And then it was the same all over again. No need for any apologies, no need for saying anything at all. It was just like old times and they were just too happy meeting each other after so long.

I guess this is where this post better end .... sometimes it is better that we do not think too much about our relationships. True, relationships are precious - but we may just ruin them by thinking too much about how to maintain them! Just go ahead - you long lost friend is just around the corner!!!

We the people

2008-05-31T11:17:00.000-07:00

I observe people quite a bit - now with no TV and a lil' more time in hand - I have started observing even more! And what I see of our people gives me the jitters.

I have grown up in a generation that was called the Gen X - youngsters - brash, yet with roots in Indian culture, etc. etc. But what I see of my generation now saddens me. And it is not thee brash, aggressive nature that worries me - it is the Indian culture! We have unfortunately imbibed many things that are not something we would be proud of!

Take for instance, breaking traffic rules - aren't they meant for our safety? Helmets have been made compulsory in most Indian cities, yet most of us will not wear them - the reason most often quoted being that in a hot country like ours, the helmet is a burden. Yeah right, the burden of being headless is better! The way people drive on Indian roads - with scant respect for traffic signals is well known. Somehow, I find this a much major problem in Chennai than I have seen in Mumbai. People have scant respect is not the word - they do not see traffic signals - if there is no one passing by - anyone can just drive past! The less said about the rickshaw drivers, the better. Sometimes I just wish I can stop and slap a few of these idiots! They are a danger to society.

I see many spitting on the roads - defacing walls - and the whole gamut of things! I used to think it is just other people who do it - we always hated such things - when we are grown up, we would do such things! I think I am wrong - every one thinks the same about his/ her generation. Have we lost our way again???

ToI is here ...

2008-05-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

I finally got to writing something! Been a real loooong time. Many things have been happening - I have changed houses again! (My 4th house in a year in Chennai!!!) - on that note, I completed a year in Chennai - not counting the two wonderful years at DoMS ... the less said about this one year, the better! Chennai sucx ... big time! :)

Life in Citi is good - I enjoy the work I do - though it barely gives me time to do anything else. I just got confirmed and promoted - so it's good!

Another good thing to come to Chennai (finally!) was the Times of India!!! Yes, the paper I have grown up reading is finally available in Chennai. I still remember the days in IIT when we used to order a day old version of the ToI - just to read the ToI. The Hindu, and its publishers must have got a jolt when the D Day finally arrived!

For those who haven't done so, do try to get hold of a copy of the inaugural issue - a fantastic front page. The ToI hit at The Hindu, very very subtly. Just putting across the point that Chennaites were Hindu loyalists - but may not be so anymore!!!

They say that the best way to see if you have succeeded is to see the reaction of your competitor - and going by The Hindu's reaction - ToI certainly seems to have won round 1! The Hindu has started advertising big time - many bus stands now sport Hindu ads - the entire stretch of Anna Salai has lighted displays of the Hindu - stating things like "Chennai trusts only The Hindu" and "If its Chennai, it has to be The Hindu" A little too late in the day misters - I think it would be better if you improve the content of your newspaper! All in all, a very good battle in the offing - will be fun to see the outcome - my hunch is that ToI will bring in the NRS survey to Chennai to show its might! The Hindu - beware!

Schumi

2007-11-03T19:45:00.001-07:00

Should have posted this sometime ago ... anyways, better late than never. An ode to the greatest F1 champ there ever was.

Something amiss
someone is missed
sadness engulfs
a sudden vacuum
the race is over
an era comes to an end
but time stands still
memories linger
some race, some corner we recall
some talk, some smile stays on
the racer, the driver hangs his boot
but the spirit,the man, his talent stands tall
To Schumi,
who made a difference,
who made me his fan,
who gave me something to cheer,
To you Schumi - I bow to thee.

Michael Forever!

Conversations...

2007-11-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

I was having this conversation with one of my friends about the need for marriage! The thing is lot of my batch mates are tying the knot or are in the process of getting engaged. Good for them – and wish them the very best in their lives! But back to the point, my friend said that marriage is important for a lot of things – you need a companion to share your thoughts, share your joys and sorrows, someone to come back home to, in a sense. He also mentioned that marriage helps you desire for something – helps you understand and appreciate what you are working for, earning for!

I wouldn’t blame him for thinking that way! Maybe a lot of my other friends do think along the same lines. Somehow I don’t see any meaning in all this. Why can’t I just work for myself? And why can’t I be happy earning money and spending it on myself?

Some other people I talked to said that the need for a partner would be felt after some time – when you are in your middle age and would feel the need for someone in your life. Again, when you have lived all your adult life alone, why would anyone feel the need for someone in middle age? Maybe you would! Maybe you wouldn’t!

I guess it’s got to do with how comfortable you are being alone! I am quite comfortable being all alone – sometimes you feel the need for solitude – just you with yourself! And I feel this need quite often! I guess it is quite difficult for me to share my life with somebody else, ever!

End note: I was talking to my manager about this. I told him a live – in relationship was preferred! He says all you Mumbai guys are the same – corrupted! :D

In pursuit of HAPPYNESS!!!

2007-11-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

I was reading a friend’s blog where she mentioned that she wasn’t happy. Mind you, not happy must not be taken to be sad or something. Not happy as in Not Happy. The reasons for this are quite difficult to fathom.

I was thinking about what she had written, and then realized that it was the same case with me! It took me a blog to realize that! J

I talked to quite a few of my friends – friends whom you have known all your life! And it was the same case with many of them! They had a good career going; many had girlfriends (if that is a source of happiness! I don’t know if it is!), were earning good money, are spread across the globe – yet, many are not happy.

Maybe it is a case of our generation wanting too much from life. We want money, a good life – and we aim for something much better – and then the cycle continues. Aspiring for something is not a bad thing in itself – it will only help you to do better. But how much is too much? Is there a line to be drawn somewhere? Are we just running after too much – only forgetting to stop and smell the roses?

I guess we must start enjoying what we have at present before we start moving on to the next thing! I always remember a little incident from my childhood. During Diwali celebrations, there used to be a lot of crackers at home. I really enjoyed bursting them – especially right at 6 in the morning! (Much to the annoyance of my neighbors, I must add!) I had great fun then – but I never used to enjoy the beautiful flower pots or the rockets bursting in the sky. I had more fun lighting the cracker and running to light the next! In the process – you derive more fun from the process than the result itself. My dad always used to slow me down – ask me to enjoy the scene before moving on to then next one!

I guess I need to do that in life too – enjoy the result rather than the process itself. After all, as they say, happiness is not something you search for – it is always in you! All you have to do is to stop and look at it!!!

A spring in my feet ...

2007-08-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

Throwing off my worries, a spring in my feet ...
I wander about, whistling, a tune to my beat ...

This is my life, one I want to live ...
With a girl, that I think I love ...

But away is she, far away from me ...
"or so you think", says she to me ...

"Loved you always, have I; but you did not care ..."
"Come, let's fall in love again; for all you care ..."

Suddenly I'm awake, 'n the dream's broken ...
There she is, with her guy, 'n I'm heart broken ...

Yet ...

Throwing off my worries, a spring in my feet ...
I wander about, whistling, a tune to my beat ...

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!

2007-08-29T00:37:00.001-07:00

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:
“Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease”?
To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over — 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD “Why me?” And today in pain I should not be asking GOD “Why me?”
“Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u Going…..

Keep Going ….

Ramblings ... again! :)

2007-08-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am disillusioned ... with my job, with my love, with just about everything! What's the use, I ask myself ... to slog all day - no recognition, no growth ... 'n peanuts!!! :) Well, not exactly, but just that I see no meaning in it all!

I've become too cynical of all this nowadays! Some things and people bug me no end....'n I just can't stand it! All around, I just see insincerity, back stabbing and matlabi log! (I couldn't find the appropriate word for this!) And I'm just not like this ... I try to be sincere, just give it my best ... and just not care! But for how long??? Can I remain insulated from everything that's going around? It's just getting impossible!

I am close to a few people, and they mean the world to me! I may never say so in so many words ... but yes, they mean a lot. And some of these very people turn against me ... I just am not able to handle! Say it on my face dammit ... just say that you have a problem - let's get on with it! Why beat around the bush?

Love is another thing I fail to understand! Love, to me is pure ... very sacrosanct ... nothing to be played around with! And I find people playing around here too! And it bugs me no end! Love is never to be mentioned - it's just there in your eyes, in your mind - sometimes you never even need to express it - but please don't play with it! With my feelings or your own! Please!

Is this how we need to behave in an adult world? If yes, then I would rather be a child, or better still a recluse! Away from all this deceit and falsehood! Just all alone!

I guess this is the beginning of the end of my short stay in Chennai ... I don't really know where I'm headed - but I hope it is somewhere good - it is a quest for what I really want - and I have only just begun ...

Remembrance

2007-07-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

A faint remembrance...
of a face so beautiful

A smile so bright...
puts the Sun to shame

The lovely locks, down her face...
Oh! so simple, yet so beautiful!

A faint remembrance...
of her perfumed skin

Not too showy...
yet, an elegance within

i love you dear, i want to say...
but quiet i am, as i always am

i stand by the side as she walks down...

walks down the aisle with a man who's hers....

Tagged!!! :)

2007-07-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

I was tagged!!! So am continuing the chain!!! :)

1. I am extremely moody - sometimes I myself don't know how I'll react to any situation.
2. I'm a perfect Leo - in almost all characteristics
3. I'm a cleanliness freak - I can tolerate being dirty for sometime - that's mostly due to lack of time ... ;) but I have get things into order soon!
4. I have a sweet tooth :)
5. I can go on blabbering and I can also keep very very quiet!
6. I'm a gizmo freak
7. I'm an IIT ian :D
8. I love anything Gujju .... ;-)

I TAG:

Kushagra
Santappa
Sharin
Prasad
Merisa
Sudar
Rajiv
Abhijit

and here are the rules!

Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach Third Series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes. :D

OM

2007-03-08T10:23:00.000-08:00

OM

The word evokes such strong emotions, yet such tranquility that none can match. The word for peace, the word for calm, a word for universality.

A constant companion when you have none, an entire support system when you need one! Beautifully, still a single word.

OM ... gimme peace, let me think...

Profound..........

2007-03-02T11:27:00.000-08:00

Found this on a friend's profile on orkut! really really profound!

Zindagi ki asli udaan abhi baaki hai,
apne erado ka imtehaan abhi baaki hai,
abhi to naapi hai muthi bhar zameen,
aage abhi saara aasman baaki hai...

---------

The real flight of life is yet to be undertaken
The real test of my ambitions is yet to happen
I just have seen a handful of this earth
I now have the entire universe left...

Arbit verses

2007-03-02T00:31:00.000-08:00

An epitaph written
of a life unborn....

A destiny scripted
never to be achieved....

Is this the end,
Of a beginning never made?

An emerging bud
of a withering plant....

A fledgling child
of a barren womb....

Is this the end,
Of a beginning never made?

A gallant warrior
of a defeated force....

An uncrowned king
of a lost kingdom....

Is this the end,
Of a beginning never made?

Standing amidst the ruins
of an empire that could've been mine....

I stand with nothing but my pride....

This is not the end, I say.....
It is but the beginning of the end.

Finding me!

2007-02-25T00:16:00.000-08:00

A simple letter, yet so poignant,
Some simple words, yet mean the world!

Simple wants, complicated means,
Why me, I ask, ... yet I know!

A final goodbye is all I need now,
I'll find myself I know... I know!

Valentine again

2007-02-14T03:20:00.000-08:00

Love in the air,
And lil blossoms in full bloom

A meeting of hearts,
'n a party of sorts
A day of hearts, of love and belonging

Suddenly the nights dark,
And the bells are silent again
I find myself all alone
And searching for you again...

Wondering............

2007-02-10T00:57:00.000-08:00

Borrowed frm Prasad's post.... couldn't express my state of mind better! :-)

Locked the room and threw away the keys
drifting towards oblivion
in search of a timeless village
"blink of an eye" all it took,
the dreams have gone, echoes creep to sky
silence uproars

Left with years to wonder
and just wonder

Jai Maharashtra

2007-01-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

Sindhudurg.... marvel on the sea! You can just watch the sea from the ramparts for hours. Amazing!!!

Waves crashing against the fort......

Ek din apun bhi raaj karega....

another new year

2007-01-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Yet another year's born, bringing joys unknown

yet a wish remains
to relive those moments, of the year gone by

know for sure this is but, a wish impossible
yet i want to be back, back to where we were

my dreams are up in smoke, and silence rules
you have left me with memories innumerable, but with just a year ahead ....

Realize..... :)

2006-11-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

Go yonder, says the farmer...
there are greener pasteurs ahead;

Search, says the scientist...
there is a secret, yet unvieled;

Fight, says the soldier...
there are battles to be won;

Yet the biggest pasteur lies in my heart...
And exists no secret greater than that of life...
And is no battle more important than that of heart and mind...

Then dawns the realization...
you don't look for greener pasteurs - they're already there;
there IS never a secret - you've just not known it ...
and there is no battle - it's just you against you!!!

Deaf n dumb???

2006-11-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

In a world of noise,
Live they in sombre silence...

Unmindful of the chatter,
They delight with their laughter...

Never have they heard a spoken word,
But understood, have they, life's unspoken road...

In a world of their own they live,
Unmindful of another that passes them by...

They need not your pity,
They are too busy with their world...

They ask just for equity,
So to live a life of dignity...

Many unsaid things....

2006-11-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

Always meant to say this to someone who I always felt (....still feel) very close to. Never could come around to saying it so beautifully though. Now that I know she's reading this for sure... "Girl ..... I always loved you.....still do!"

There were so many things I did not say
When I looked into your eyes
The things I think about each day
Would take you by surprise

The wonders of what we could share
Still powder in my mind
I wondered if I could tell you how much I cared
And I guess I ran out of time

Now your face is not stopping me
From telling you how I feel
Maybe this is the way it should be
So I'll try and keep it real

We have known each other for quite some time
And we're recently good friends

We were a couple for awhile
But we know that never really lasts
I always felt as if my heart was on trial
And now it's a thing of the past

I want that love we once shared again
If it was ever there
I know that I had loved you
But did you really care?

Sometimes I wish you would talk to me
About the things you feel
Then maybe someday I'll understand
How you've learned to deal

I've often wondered what it would be like
To feel your warm embrace
To kiss your soft sweet lips
Or have your touch upon my face

But now I am gone and I'll never know
How wonderful it would be
To have the sweetest love
That you would share with me

So many things I think about
You probably never knew
A lot of many unsaid things
That I have never told you.....

-----from the original by Jacquilyn Flory

Ekla chalo

2006-11-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

Tanha raahi apni raah chalta jaayega;
Ab to jo bhi hoga dekha jaayega..................

The road

2006-09-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

The dry and dusty road...
leading to a land unknown;

Along have travelled man and wife...
towards a dream unknown;

Wooden wheels and rubbered ciphers...
all have but tread this path...
knowing not where it leads.

The dry and dusty road...
leading to a land unknown;

Alone have I travelled along...
seeking to find the truth that's life;

...this is the path that brought me here,
and is the one that'll lead me back...

I graduated....

2006-08-13T00:56:00.000-07:00

July 28 - 2006 .... moments to remember!

In protest...

2006-07-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

This blog is in protest....

In protest against the terrorists who have made my home, Mumbai, their playground. Hundreds dead and wounded in the barbaric violence along the western line.

In protest against a stupid Indian government machinery that has banned access to all blogs since they got received information (belatedly, of course .... what else did you think??? Haven't you seen hindi movies? The cops always come after everything is over!) that the terror agencies are using blogs to communicate.

Mumbai was hit by a series of terrible bomb blasts on an eleventh ... of the seventh month! 7/11 is now a date to be remembered ... for the death and mayhem that was caused. And what mayhem it was ... all within a span of 11 minutes. You had to see the mashed bodies lying on the tracks to realize the barbarism of the terrorists. And Mumbaikars were back on their feet ... all thanks to their spirit! So said the news channels to anyone who cared to watch them. Mumbaikars, me included, did not care about what they said. 'coz we simply didn't have the time to. We had to get on with our work.... 'n no; it has nothing to do with our soul or spirit! Its just that we have to work, some guys need the day's money than maybe even I do. I salute them ... coz they simply don't have the time to care ... one day lost is one day of hunger ... one less penny saved. And it is not that Mumbaikars are not scared .... every time a son leaves the house, the mother has a prayer on her fearful lips, the wife bids a fearful goodbye to her husband, who cares for her as much when she leaves for work. (Yes, both of them have to work; they live in Mumbai remember? Who will pay their rents otherwise?)

Now for our good government ... these fellows decided that Mumbai and Mumbaikars need to be protected. So what do they do? Block the blogs! Did they even realize that it was the blogs and we bloggers that helped numerous anxious relatives keep in touch with their loved ones when the cell networks were down? It were these blogs and online communities that gave accurate information about the dead and the wounded? It were these blogs that galvanized people to donate blood that was so much needed??? And just one more point, we need to be ahead of our enemies in this battle .... 'n in cyberspace, we can be ahead only by embracing better technology ... not by banning blogs ... keep your bans for the physical world, we will find out ways to counter your ban in cyberspace (like I did now!) ... and so will the terrorists!

Yet at the end of all this, we Mumbaikars know one thing for sure; that nothing is going to change. Terrorists will attack again, the government will blame the Centre; the Centre, Pakistan. There will committees to decide on beefing up security in the metropolis, and then everything will be back to normal again. We will pay exhorbitant taxes to feed the country, and get overflowing drains, floods, bombs in return! Yes, life will be normal again ... overflowing, stinking local train compartments, dirty platforms and inaudible announcements! And yeah, the rush for the 8:10 CST local...

Musings from the past...

2006-07-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

"I am writing this letter for you to read later, much later.Now you must be thinking why I was behaving so strangely when you were here. Its coz 1. you came here as * * and so I had to behave as I would with * * friends and 2. coz its been so long and become kinda awkward now. I want you to forget all that happened during those two weeks in * I was stupid and did and said all I did widout thinking of the consequences. It was just that it was too good and I cudnt stop myself from going wid the flow.. which I know was my biggest mistake. So pl forgive me and pl pl pl pl pl pl (sic) move on. And try not to gain mazza out of irritating me (which u wer very good at ;) n remember its not about u, its just that i am in a relatnshp wid sumone who means the world to me, just that i was a lil late to realise his importance. so tcr of urself and remember tht i am always there for u from dis guaranteed frnd fr eternity..."

It hurt .... very very much! ...'n it still does

2006-05-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

A few things that have been happening over the past few days have really frustrated me. I have always been one who never gets easily worked up. And I never ever give up, especially when it comes to my India. But the events that have been unfolding have really got me thinking ... is it worth remaining here for young minds? Do we really deserve all this? Or are we getting what we sowed???

The first is the reservation issue. VP Singh made an ass of himself and the country when he accepted the Mandal commission report. Little would he have imagined what a great disservice he had done to us. But the inscrutable politician that he is, he and his ilk would still defend their decision! And now, a bloody 70+ (or is it 80+) "leader" wants to "revive" his political career. So what does he do? Bring back reservations! He does not care, does he? His children are already well educated in the best schools of the world - schools where he and his stupid ideas would find no ears anyways! And I guess even his grandchildren would be studying in some of the best institutions in the world...where merit only matters. Period. Such old men should be lying at home... in good Hindu tradition, taking the names of the Lord and waiting for death! Unfortunately for us, he is here - sanctioning death of meritocracy in a country already plagued by brain drain! There are so many central institutions, lacking even the basic infrastructure and faculty. Students come in and go out - that's it - there is no value addition whatsoever. What happens to the funds budgeted out every year, Mr. HRD minister? They go towards salaries? Whose salaries - yours or the faculty's? No one wants to bring the existing system out of the mess - old, insane men only want things to get messier!

We have a prime minister, who was said to be the best in business. A very knowledgeable and erudite scholar, who would lead the country ahead! And what does that man do? From the firsat day, he thanks his stars...no, thanks one Madam Sonia Gandhi for making him prime minister, helping him run the country, helping him run his house! Gawd.... can't these men do a single thing without some Madam or Amma helping them out? Bloody effeminates! My blood boils when I see that man as our prime minister ... he has no guts to take any decisions! As it is, there's a coalition; add to that pressures from a lady, who has been elevated to some godlike positions only coz she happens to be a Gandhi... 'n that too no relation to a Gandhi who is called the father of the nation. (Not that it would have helped that she was related to that Gandhi... I have big grudges against that man's ideology as well! That's a different story though!)

Thousands across the country are in protest. Yound men and women are on hunger strikes protesting reservations. (I am not one of them. I am not taking part in the protests...call me detached, tell me I'm an armchair critic ... whatever!) The government threatens ESMA, threatens removal...no effect. So what does it do? It does what any dictator would do - simply enforce reservations. Who can stop it anyway? The Congress raised a hue and cry sometime back when Bal Thakeray said that Indians deserve Dictatorship (Thokshahi) and not democracy. What is the Congress soing now? Democractic dictatorship anyone?

And now some other issues. The issue of the media. What does the media want? Just sensational news...that's it? No hard facts, no real depth of news, just sensationalism! If some celebrity has an extra marital affair, it is braking news! Everyone knows the Mumbai western line is under maintenance - yet these stupid presspersons will interview all and sundry about the problems they faced. If the western line in Mumbai is down, we will face problems dammit! We don't need you to say that..u $@#%%$

And now, every newspaper has thousands of pages! Where is the edit, where is the sports? I don't know...and I don't have the patience early in the morn to wade thru reams of unwanted shit to find a newspaper article!

And the latest issue...students of 10th and 12th face stress! Wow! I never knew that! I never faced any "stress" or "suicidal" feelings when I awaited my results. Maybe I was (am) extraordinary...Superman Jr. anyone? Nor did any of my friends feel any stress...I am sure of it! In fact the worst students of my class were the most relaxed! They knew...jo aayega bahut hai! And now, the Maharashtra Board has decided to scrap the felicitation held for the toppers. They say others would feel bad! WHAT THE HECK! I slog my ass out to get good marks... if you can't digest it GO TO HELL! Where is the question of getting stressed out come here? And what are parents for then? Every year, the media will highlight a case of some student suicide after the results. Does the media know how the child came upto the 10th or 12th standard? Does the media know how much money was pumped in by the rich parents so that teachers would promote the child? Does anyone know how much the child used to score till then? Will the media report this? No, why should it? After all this doesn't make interesting reading! This doesn't sell their papers or their channels!

The film Rang de Basanti dealt with a somewhat similar situation. What the youth did in the film was debated - again, some kinda hype by our good media! - yet who is to blame if some of our youth do the same. Can we really tell them it is wrong?

Alone...

2006-05-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

Just some thought penned after I saw a post on loneliness...

The crowd swells, the world goes by...
yet the man is alone, all alone!

The party rocks, and the chicks are hot...
yet the party animal is alone, all alone!

He goes for a helping, perches on the table...
the conversation rocks, but he is alone, 'n the thoughts are his own!

The newsroom's buzzing, the master's quizzing...
the countdown begins, and now the reader's alone!

The mindless chaos, flowing humanity...
never a moment's rest, never a little pause...
yet man is alone, alone on his own...

Strange thing this thing called man...
seeks voice when needs he no noise...
seeks humanity when needs he just solitude...

Searching...

2006-05-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

How do I leave in peace, not sorrow?
How do I leave the pain, and be happy?
How, how in all the world do I find a place that is mine forever?

How do I search for the eternal truth?
How do I seek a future that's unknown?
How, how in all the world do I find myself?

Where lies the secret of beauty?
Where lies that of longevity?
and where does lie the secret of a past, forgotten; and a future, dreamed of?

The truth then dawns, like the sunrays on the earth
like the flash of lightning on a sun kissed earth!

It is sorrow that leads unto happiness
and happiness unto pain...

The truth is here, there and everywhere...
why, the truth is here within us all to see!

The secrets are, but secrets of the heart
vieled they are by the unseeing eye...

I am one with the force supreme...
it's I who seek, and I who give...
It is me, me and only me!

Goodbye

2006-05-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I blogged. Not that I was busy or something, in fact the last few months have been the most relaxed! But it happens, doesn't it? When you have all the bloody time in the world and yet you are not free!!! Anyways, this blog dedicated to IITM, the institution that I said goodbye to in the last week; and about which I had been meaning to write something for quite sometime now.

Sometimes I feel I'm not qualified enough to write on IITM ... that's for my BTech brothers ... who have spent four of their most wonderful years of their lives here. Sometimes, I felt that I do not belong here, MBAs were not a part of the "junta"!! But IITM proved me wrong, proved us all wrong!

As I leave this beautiful campus, here are a few memories that I'll carry with me.... I take nothing away from here, just memories...

Memories ....

...of a green campus, of a forest reserve, of humankind nestled in the lap of the jungle;

...of monkeys (lots of them!) that troubled you no end, yet the heart now longs for their presence;

...of the deer and black bucks, that you never gave a damn about, yet now realize you'll never ever live in the midst of;

...of JAM - the early days, and the struggles to find water to bathe, of those early mornings - running around with a bucket in hand!

...of JAM, of the 9th wing, where two years were lived, two years like never before ... never again;

...of the quadrangle - of footer, of volly - of the practice for Sports day!

...of Gurunath, of the "spot", of the times spent sipping mocha; :)

...of GC - where everything in IIT began and ended!

...of OAT - where I saw movies without paying for a ticket ever!!!

...of the HSS building - where my journey to a manager began!

I am left with images... images for which I need no prints, images embedded in the heart, images that'll remain - that I'll take to my grave....

Images of Saarang - how much more colorful can it ever get?

Images of an event called Samanvay - how it began and how it ended!

Images of DoMS - the new building

Images of the lab - where we sleeping souls outnumbered the blinking comps!

Images of virtual games - Virtua Tennis or BHD! - where many a Ghengis Khan was born 'n dead!!!

Images of 408Jam - images of the monk's abode!

... and finally memories of the friends I have made - friends - some who have remained so, some not! Yet all have taught me something! Relationships that have been made - made for life! A life that has been lived - a life of all but two years - yet a life that I will always remember. A life spent at IITM! And a life that has taught what 23 years couldn't!!!

Perhaps mere words fail to capture the experience - yet there is one thing that I will always regret - that I did not try for the IITs - that I could not spend four years of an undergraduate here .... yet I am thankful - thankful for a chance to be a part of the IIT - two years nevertheless!

It's time to say goodbye....

Wish...

2006-04-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

those toys strewn around...
the sweet smell of the flowers on ol' granny's hair...
Ah! the little joys of childhood, those little moments of mischief

the giant banyan in the courtyard...
the locked yard promising adventure...
those little moments of a world left behind, those little moments that I remember now

the first love, the first crush...
not to forget the first kiss...
a little dream to cherish, the lovely moment that you never wanna forget

the first moments you were alone...
those first years of freedom...
all those little things you did, and longed for the rest of your life

wish i live those moments again...just once again...
wish those days were back again...
wish the child is back again!!!

About a blog?

2006-04-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

"About my blog", says my friend>

Pixies dance, while fairies weep;
On the boulevard of insatiable dreams...
Magic and wonder is free to reap...
Enchantment sets thee free...

Just a quote...

2006-04-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

"We came with tears without knowing anybody...
We will go with tears after knowing everybody...."

.....beautiful!

Go slow, my lovely moon...

2006-03-26T02:27:00.000-08:00

Make morning into a key and throw it into the well,
Go slowly, my lovely moon, go slowly...

Let the morning sun forget to rise in the east,
Go slowly, my lovely moon, go slowly....

Go!

2006-03-23T06:28:00.000-08:00

The hunger within...
driving your dreams;

Reminding your soul...
of the battles ahead!

The thirst for life...
never quenched;

And the quest for a goal...
but, never attained!

Go, my heart go...
there is yet a world unexplored;

Hearts to be won...
and souls to be touched!

This life is but a small journey...
so much to do, so little time!

Tragic death, worse aftermath

2006-03-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

An extremely moving article in the online edition of the Sunday Indian Express. It deals with the gruesome murder of Manjunath, the IIM graduate. Makes us think ... and question our own value systems. Excerpts:

"Manjunath will be 28 on February 23.’’ A birthday reminder flashed on our e-group. There was a sinister irony in this. For today was also the day the chargesheet in Manju’s murder was filed.

I deleted the reminder but not the memories. I went back to the day I visited the petrol pump where Manju was shot. As I stood in the eerie silence of that sealed, deserted pump, I could really feel the death he must have died. The kind of death that nobody should die. All alone and cold. On a dusty road, in UP’s hinterland, in the dead of the night. Dying with just one thought. It’s all over.

Manju’s parents stand with me, their sorrow merging with the silence. I feel an indescribable pang. Manju’s mother Pramila asks the police escort, ‘‘What were Manju’s words when he saw Monu Mittal pull out the revolver?’’ She explains, ‘‘Monu Mittal always behaved like a friendly dealer. He’d come home once, when I was with Manju. I had even served him coffee.’’ ...

I have been their interpreter all day. I had taken them to the Mahauli police station first to meet the constables. The constables who’d spotted a vehicle in the dead of the night, given chase and nabbed Monu’s henchmen red-handed. Without them, the case would never have come to light. In fact, the adulteration mafia had planned to dump Manju’s body and weave a story around it—portraying Manju as an unstable, wayward drunkard who got into a brawl and died.

I failed as interpreter, though. It was beyond me to translate into Hindi those outpourings of gratitude. Manju’s parents’ expressions, their tears said it all—the debt we owed the constables. The head constable said, ‘‘We were on patrol but we went to have tea and saw the car. They immediately offered us a bribe of Rs 2 lakh—to let them go and dump the body at a spot nobody would locate. But their crime was so heinous I wouldn’t let them off for Rs 2 crore!’’

This overpaid IIM graduate doesn’t think of a lakh or two as a big amount. But even this MBA begins respecting the value of Rs 2,000 when the head constable says, ‘‘Sir, can you help my son find a job? He’s just completing his B.Sc, even a job for Rs 2,000 a month will help a lot. You will help an honest boy.’’

''When I first heard of Manju’s death I used to wonder if it was worth it. If Manju lived, he could have served his parents in their old age, gotten his sister married and so on—all the things every well-bred Indian takes pride in doing. So I wondered, couldn’t Manju have done the slight paap of going a bit easy on his values—with the long-term punya in view? Was this death worth it really?''

In response, a reader had written something that made me hang my head in shame.

‘‘I don’t understand why for everything in life we ask ourselves— was it worth it? There are some beliefs, actions and motions that are above this ‘‘deal evaluation’’ exercise that we apply on everything. Like in love. It doesn’t matter if you can or cannot justify the effort and time spent in chasing a dream. What is important is that you believed in the dream and the need to take the journey. Let’s not trivialise what Manju did by even pontifying on whether it was worth it or not. Let’s not demean a believer! If you need to do anything, try dreaming the dream that he probably had.’’

Honesty is like love. Inexplicable. Unjustifiable. Just do it.

Joy and colors???

2006-03-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

The colors all in place...
The design not too much though!

Parched earth drenched by the skies...
Yet the thirst remains!!

Humans decked in all colors...
But white & colored remain!!!

Spreading joy all around...
Sorrow, yet follows its ol' friend!!!!

Twas meant to be a union of mankind...
Sadly, all that remained was blood!!!!!

Limits

2006-03-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

Go higher...go faster
The sky is not your limit ... there are skies beyond!

Jump up, touch the stars
The stars are not your target ... the Sun's beyond!

Roam around the earth...
But remember ... it's not the end ... the Universe's beyond!

Touch ... touch your limits ...
But remember though ... there are no limits!!!

Waves

2006-03-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

Standing by the shore, I asked the waves...
"Why do you come back when you have the sea ahead of you?"

Sighed the waves; "How would you know? You are but human! We come back coz this is where we belong"

Then back went the waves, only to be followed by another...
"Why do you come back when you have the sea ahead of you?"

"How would you even realize, dear human! We come back coz we who go out have to come back"

Back they went, only to be replaced by another...
"Why do you come back when you have the sea ahead of you?"

"You never realize, do you? We come back coz this is where it all began ... and this is where it must end!"

Ah! Now I realized ... this is where my story began ... and so must it end here ...

Search for joy

2006-03-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

Searching for myself...by the seashore all alone;

I look for silence amidst the roar of waves...
I look for calm in the chaos of mankind...
I look, I look for a little joy in the throes of sorrow

Then comes the voice from within...promising hope as always;

Look, it says, for silence, in the shells...
And for calm in a child...
Look, look within yourself, you fool, ... for that is where joy resides ...

Wings to fly...

2006-03-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

The Sun scorching the sky
Rains soaking the earth though
Love in my heart
Yet none to show the world

Where am I headed?
There's no road ... the destination, yet clear

With dreams in the eyes
And ambition in my heart
I set off for a utopia
Will I find it? I do not know
Yet happy I am
That I aimed for the sun
Unlike mortals that aim for the treetops
And die in the sorrow that
Their lowly goals were but achieved!

A new day, a new beginning...

2006-03-04T00:25:00.000-08:00

"Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?"

Was going through some sun signs and compatibility funda on the net. (Primarily due to lack of anything useful to do ... I never in my dreams imagined I would be reading all this crap! ) The site had pretty detailed info, I must admit! The surprising thing I saw was that they had mentioned that some signs do not match.... "not destined" was the word! I nearly burst out laughing!

Destiny!!! Aren't we the ones who shape destiny? Is it our fault that some bugger classified our birthdate into some stupid symbols/signs and decided that this was compatible and this was not!? And yet I find many of my friends hooked on to these predictions....

And yet that word Destiny, set me thinking. Is there something beyond us..a force, a God, a power??? I looked back at so many things ... just the two years I was here at IITM. My memory's pretty weak to remember a great many things beyond anyways!!! So many different people ... so many relationships ... built and broken! I have enjoyed my life in the company of people, some of whom I would have never interacted with otherwise! People of the likes I would have kept away from ... but not anymore! These are now an integral part of my life! Some friends are now far away, and others are closer than friends have ever been! Surprising? Very. Destiny? I don't know!

And now, two months from now, we will move on! Every one of us! I sometimes imagine how it would be if AG just disappears! No news of him ... not present for the convocation ... not in touch with anyone at all. Will some friends remember him? Will some even give a thought? Or will we move on ... on the path life and our work takes us? I like the opening lines of Troy (quoted above!) Forget centuries ... will our own friends remember us? Will we look out for each other? Search for the times we spent together at IITM?

I doubt it! Maybe I'm being too skeptical. But think of it this way. One part of the story is over ... the other part begins ... and it is a new beginning! The actor in us is always in search of new roles ... new directors ... new heroines!!! And he will move on .... perhaps that is his destiny!

College ke gate ki is taraf hum life ko nachate hain ...
Us taraf life humko nachaayegi!!!

Crap

2006-02-22T11:18:00.000-08:00

Today I realized what love is...
What it means to long for a woman...
What it is to burn in the flames of love...

Today I know what it means to spurn a woman...
And learnt how impossible it is to woo her back...
And learnt it the hard way, I did...

Today I think of those times when she was there...
For me and me alone...
And never did I pay any heed...

Today I look at those friends who never were...
Who left me when I needed them the most...
Who attained their love, yet left me gasping for mine...

Today, today I am, but all alone...
With neither love nor friends who are mine...
All alone...all alone!

Gibran on love - beautiful verses!

2006-02-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

A few verses by Gibran on love - well written indeed!

"When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."

A little bit of hope...

2006-02-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

A little smile, to cheer up an urchin's day
A little love, to pep up a lover's night

My lord, give me a little hope ... to live another day!

A little sunshine, to brighten a rainy day
A little moonlight, to brighten the traveller's road

My lord, give me a little hope ... to live another day!

A little sleep, to calm the critically ill
A little meal, to feed the really poor

My lord, give me a little hope ... to live another day!

A little more faith, to this unbelieving world
A little bit of joy, to end the sorrows of a neglected universe

My lord, give US a little hope ... to live another day!

Tanhayee...

2006-02-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

Door kahii sitaaron mein
hai ek anokhi roshni...

Door ghane vaadiyon mein
hai ek naya jahaan...

Le chalo mujhe is duniya se door
jahan rahe bas main aur meri tanhayee...

Door kaali ghataaon mein
hai ek saatwaan aasmaan...

baraste baadlon se banta
hai ek naya kaarvaan...

Le chalo mujhe aisi duniya ki oor
jahan rahe bas main aur meri tanhayee...

Uski nami aankhon mein
hai mera tarasta pyaar...

Uski zulfon ki chaaya mein
hoon main deewaana bekaraar...

Le chalo mujhe ab usse kahii door
jahan rahoon bas main, main aur meri tanhayee...

2006-02-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

This does not have any title ... perhaps it was not meant to have one! It's for the one girl I have ever loved ... 'n I know who loved me too. What's in store now? I don't really know ... this Valentine's, some thoughts for her ...

"I am sorry I never could say this to you, but you will always remain in my heart...always! If you really feel the same for me - my heart is still open for you"

I loved you from the moment I saw you
Just that I didn't say...

I think about you always
Just that I never tell you that...

I am here, far from you
Yet I am there, whenever you need me
Just that I never tell you I'm there...

Never a passing thought goes without a mention of you
Never a comment goes without a mention of your name
Just that I never let you know...

The times when you cried, your head on my shoulders
You cried, the tears were mine
Just that you never noticed...

I knew you were in love
Just that you also never told me that...

And now it is too late, or is it?
On our paths we go, maybe never to meet again

There's just a moment left
A moment, just too late?

Do I say those wonderful words to you
Or regret my entire life

That the girl who loved me never was mine
For I just didn't say... "I love you"

Euphoria continues...

2006-02-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

EUPHORIA!

2006-02-10T19:21:00.000-08:00

Ramblings of a wandering soul...

2006-02-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

It was the way it all ended that really disturbed me...
I couldn't sleep for days on end ... just thinking about those times. As I readied myself for a new job, a new innings ... I felt out of place ... in a city I called my own. Mumbai seemed strange to me now...as strangers say it does!

All I could think of, is her and her beautiful smile. The child woman, who was anything but one! She broke my heart ... so ruthless ... so merciless ... yet with the smile on!

This did drive me to prove myself all over again ... but whom was I doing this for? I didn't ever need proof of myself ... never did! Why do I need to this, I ask? But I do ... to get over her at least. Else her thoughts will kill every single living moment of my life. I realized the need for a new beginning. Yes, I am back in the past, I am the lone warrior - with no one to cry for. This is my war and I have to fight it! ... The fighter was not dead after all! He lives on to fight another day! He lives on to love another day! 05,16,2005

A Feeling I Can't Explain

2006-02-02T01:39:00.000-08:00

IT'S JUST A FEELING I CAN'T EXPLAIN,

AM I GOING INSANE
JUST TO HEAR YOU SAY MY NAME.
AM I WALKING THROUGH SUSHINE AND RAIN.
OH THE LOVELY FEELING I CAN'T EXPLAIN.

OH THAT FEELING WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME.
FOREVER I HOPE YOU AND I WILL BE.
TO BE WITH YOU I'LL SWIM THROUGH THE SEA.
AM I WALKING THROUGH SUNSHINE OR RAIN.
OH THAT WONDERFUL FEELING I CAN'T EXPLAIN.

OH THAT FEELING I CAN'T EXPLAIN.
AM I GOING INSANE.
JUST TO HEAR YOU SAY MY NAME.
I KNOW I WALKING THROUGH SUNSHINE NOT RAIN.

OH THAT LOVELY, WONDERFUL FEELING I CAN'T EXPLAIN.

LOVING YOU...
OH THAT'S THE THING,
THAT'S THE FEELING I COULDN'T EXPLAIN.

by Brandi Conner - can't really express myself this well! But anyways, this poem is not for me - for a close friend who's discovered love!

Love's labour lost; well ... almost!

2006-01-18T06:54:00.000-08:00

I wrote this during LPS's lecture! Sorry Prof., just couldn't stop myself!

He loved her like he never did ...
With all his heart and loving soul ...
Little did he know she loved him too ...
With all her heart and loving soul ...

But then came the heartbreak though ...
He didn't know how, he didn't know when ...
All he cared to know was what ...
What happened that lead to it ...

Little did he know she loved him too ...
Deep down her desire burned ...
Yet she kept away ... far away from him ...
'Coz she was afraid ... afraid to admit her love ...

The world moves on, they moved on ...
Went along their paths, taking life as it comes ...
And yet they never forgot their love ...
A love that just refused to die ...

And then by some twist of fate they met ...
When they never should have met ...
And memories came flashing back ...
Flooding her heart with remorse ...

For they could never be one again ...
Just remember they could, their love unsaid ...
For she was here in this real world ...
Looking down at the tomb ... that bore the name that was his ...

Success and failure

2006-01-08T20:49:00.000-08:00

"I got it!", shouts the lad aloud;
For his family to hear aloud!

He has won, he's a master of his life;
And now ready for a future of strife!???

And in a corner lies his friend;
No one to help him in this time of need...

For he has failed, failed in a test;
A test he wonders, the test of his life?

He resolves to be the best,
Beat fate at a game it knows best...

It's but fourscore years hence,
And our friend who failed is a winner now;

And chances upon, he, on his long lost friend;
Who is now but his former self!

Hollow success has taken its toll;
And made, a winner, look a fool!

Our friend now can't but laugh;
At a life he had cursed back then!

He now thanks for that moment;
When he was down, yet, not out...

He is now a master of his life;
Thankful for little strife...

This is the cycle of success and failure, he knows;
For he has been through it!; he knows... very well he knows...

Sitting by the sea...

2006-01-04T04:15:00.000-08:00

Sitting by the sea, I think of you...
Of the times we sat, alone by the shore...
Of some words said, and many left unsaid...
Of the days and nites, when you were here...
Sitting by me, oh my dear!

Sitting by the sea, I think of you...
Of your childlike face and charming smile...
Looking into your eyes, I lived my life...
And heard the music of a beautiful fife...

I wish you were here, just once more...
So I can hear the music again, and live my life...
Sitting by the sea...
Sitting by the sea...

A new year, a new beginning?

2006-01-03T03:09:00.000-08:00

The whole world goes ga-ga over the New Year! Nothing new, considering that the developed world always was this way! ... 'n the developing world was fooled into believing that it was a great deal! So there I go into the streets on a freezing new year's day in Bangalore ... everyone out there wishing each other a happy new year! All tolerable till now; and then it comes ... "What's your resolution this year?" I knew this was coming, happens every year! People have their own stupid notions of the new year resolution.

Tipplers, after a heavy boozing spree, resolve to never drink again! Sometimes I wonder if they even remeber what they had decided the previos nite! And then there's the new breed of uncles and auntys who have jumped on to this resolution bandwagon!! These old men and women, who, never in their dreams have even come closely to thinking about what to do with their lives, now decide to get lean, feed the poor ... What a joke! One look at their dogs; and their bellies; and you know how well they will keep their resolution!

And now I meet this drunk buffoon on the road ... he sways so well, he could give the coconut trees on a Goan beach good competition! He comes across to me ... " Say mate, do ya have a smoke? "
"There's too much of it around", I reply; pointing to the firework induced smoke all around! He gives me a look that says that I better keep my wisecracks to myself!!! I move on...

Auto drivers have a field day. Those poor souls who do not have a vehicle of their own wonder if they are paying for reaching their location or buying it! Effect of the booze, they reason out!

Day after > the entire town's dead asleep! Old timers would have reacted in shock if they saw the young uns' fast asleep till evening, and that too on the first day of the year! But this is the new millenium ... a new year, a new beginning .... maybe!!!

Musings from the past...

2006-01-02T00:32:00.000-08:00

Loneliness...

2005-12-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

I roam around alone, waiting for that moment;
I do not know what it is, or when it will come;
Yet I wait, in solitude, stark solitude...

I look around for answers, to a question I don't know!
I look for clues, to a riddle that I know exists not;
I only wait, in solitude, for the moment may come soon...

Wonder sometimes, am I alone in this wide world?
Is this solitude just for me, as if some gift from the heavens?
I do not know, I just have to wait ... all alone...

Finally I see a light, as bright as I have never seen before;
"Is this it?" I wonder, "Yes!" says the voice, "I come to say that you are the ONE";
"You will be lonely, for that is how it is meant to be!"

I am lonely, and this loneliness kills me!
But I have a task; and I have to know what it is!
And this loneliness is my companion, in day or nite;

I sit today and look back, at those days spent in solitude;
And wish for them once more,
This world is not for me, I am the ONE ... and such are meant to be lonely!

A placement, 'n lots of joy!

2005-12-23T11:13:00.000-08:00

1 and a half years of an MBA course ... all the struggles, the nite outs ... and now getting placed! WOW! A wonderful feeling! I have a job once more! All that I had worked for has finally come to a meaningful conclusion ... a FMCG sales position!!!

A wonderful GD (that's Group Discussion, for the uninitiated!) followed by an equally impressive interview ... 'n then the final selection! The GD process really made me think (for a change!) and was innovative, to say the least!

Seems strange that I sat for a whole lot of companies that I would have never wanted to work for! I sit for the IBM GD for a sales position, and they invite me to sit for the Application maintenance position! And the Avalon guys made me sit the whole day, write a case, discuss, and then interviewed me ... 'n REJECT!

But the fighter is not down yet ... Henkel is left, and that is where the "real" job is! And finally the target is achieved! Henkel is conquered!!!

Real joy ... 'n it is celebration time! So off I go to celebrate ... till my next blog, it is Adieu!

Inspired!

2005-12-14T02:09:00.000-08:00

Wrote a few lines, I even don't know if they make sense! But read Sharin's blog, and the words just came forth! Here goes....

A color it may not be,

But sure I am it is a sign…

Of things that were, of things to come

It matters to me who you are, it really matters what you think,

For I think of you every single time, every single moment,

Those rainy days are still fresh in my mind, as are those slippery sidewalks…

Where we walked, some eons ago, just you and me,

And your beautiful laughter!

You taught me to smile, you taught me to live…

I learnt to live, but live for whom…?

I wept in silence, stormed across the room,

Creating words…that the world now calls poetry!

The words are empty, the feelings are not,

They are, after all, nothing but you in verse!

It is winter, dark and gray…

And I wait for the sunshine, bright and gay…

I always think of you…only of you…

I didn’t choose these words, you did

I didn’t write this poem, I’m sure you did!!!

Undhiyo .... 'n back on my feet!

2005-12-11T02:01:00.000-08:00

Arrived in my city (for those of you morons who still don't know - my city is MUMBAI! ) and was immediately down with fever and don't know what! Really don't know what hit me!!! Thought was quite ok with all the antibiotics that I took on my own... but I guess not! Yeah, I know...Dada... I shouldn't take medicines on my own! But this is the first time my cure has failed!!! So a trip to my doc the day I land up here, and for the first time ever... I see him really concerned! So he puts me onto another round of some antibiotic...advises a liquid diet...

And then, after 2 days, I decide...what the heck! This is not doing me any good! I visit the doc again...'n he advises rest, liquid diet....I tell him I'm not getting any better! He advises patience! Then comes the Undhiya! Courtesy a kind neighbour! I decide ... enough is enough...Illness be damned...doc be damned! I dig into the delicious thing....'n say what!? I'm all ok the next day!!! Trust good ol' Gujju food to get you back on track! WOW!

Ok, now I decide what to do in MUMBAI!!! Have to meet so many people...am meeting my college chums today....at the engagement ceremony of another of our mates! Have I become so old!??? Anyways, looking forward to it...long time since I met these guys! Long overdue!

Placement season is nearer than it ever was! And 6 companies in the first day! Now is the time... time to prove myself! Time to show what I'm worth...! As I say, the fighter has to be back in action...he has to, his life depends on it!

All the best to everyone...EVERYONE of my batchmates!!!

Chow!

The city that was never mine...

2005-12-02T02:26:00.000-08:00

Without a word, without a tear, I bid goodbye...
to the city that was never mine!

I came here searching for love, a love that was not meant to be,
I came searching for a girl, a girl I knew would never be mine!
I went along those paths, where I felt my future was, but no said the city roads,
"you are meant for better paths"; so...

Without a word, without a tear, I bid goodbye...
to the city that was never mine!

I often dream about her now, now that memories are all that's left,
I wonder why, really why, she would turn me down for the world!
We talked for hours on end, but no said the girl so well, "go", she said, for
"you are meant for better paths"; so...

Without a word, without a tear, I bid goodbye...
to the city that was never mine!

I long to return sometime, to the city I left so long ago,
To its nooks and barren streets, to meet again the girl I loved!
I hope to catch a glimpse of her, bathing in the twilight sun,
I hope to go back again....to the city that was never mine!

Happy Birthday Baua!

2005-11-30T11:22:00.000-08:00

It is Baua...aka Ravi Bihari's birthday today...here's wishing him all the very best in his life! Just back from the cake cutting ceremony....sometimes I wonder...its become more of people bashing and less of cake cutting! Anyways, the esteemed recepients of the kick today included (apart from Baua, of course!) Anshu, Chu, Ghone and Jhingu! Jhingu really got a taste of his own medicine!!!

Oh, I fail to mention Gujju, who made the mistake of staying a bit too long in my kingdom ...the hostel, i.e.! And he got hit!...and how!!!!

The president, APJ Abdul Kalam is gonna be here tomorrow....but IIT is not buzzing! There is no visible security, no police anywhere! Come on guys...show us those guns and sniffer dogs!!!!

I finished my last exam for this quarter today!!! Vrags gave an absolute cracker of a paper..... 3 questions > 3 hours!!!! And one question cariried 60 marks! Anyways, a different paper! Was fun!!!!

So now I am all ready...ready to return to my roots! My home...Mumbai! Can't wait to get back! It has been a long time...though Chu reminds me that I was there just some time back! Come on Chu... that was in August....its December now! And anyways, where did I have peace during the placement trip!!!! So much work then!

Ok then, the net will be off anytime now...Will write later! Placements are coming up! Wish everyone all the very best!

Keep trying!

The fighter....

2005-11-30T11:09:00.000-08:00

The fighter is back,
After a long battle hard won!

The fighter is back,
After an eon in a foreign land!

I am the fighter, I long for war!
What it is worth, I do not care!

The world is bad, and I have no care!
I have to fight...fight so I can live another day!

That's the way I am...that's the way I was meant to be!
Thank my stars that a street fighter I am...for I know how....
I know how....to live another day!

I have seen death and fury,
Great warriors and puny men!

I have fought...fought for every inch...
Fought so that the world remembers....

" Here's the fighter who could fight....here's the fighter who did fight...so that he could live another day! "

An effort.... an ice breaker... and heartbreak?

2005-11-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

Just another of my random thoughts, though those who know me well would definitely find out the underlying sentiment.

I follow the India and Pakistan peace process quite closely. It is amusing sometimes, really childish, the way diplomats go about complaining about small matters; and how, at the drop of the hat, forces are mobilized on the border! But sometimes I feel....is it all so very easy. Is it really easy to solve a problem with just firm commitment on both sides.

This human is a complex thing...really complex. He wants peace, yet he will not accept it! We want people to be together, yet whenever there is an effort towards this, we want to go back.

All because we are not ready to accept change. We are not ready to forgive..... (I never say 'and forget', coz I believe that if we forget, we commit the same mistakes again!) We are not ready to even think of the times we were together. This is true of most of us!

We are happy to be ensconced in our comfort zones...not ready to move out. Yes, we would have to make compromises...no two things about it! And we would be looked upon by suspicion! Friends are lost, relationships are broken! But a beginning has to be made! For how long do we turn our backs to each other? For how long do we mistrust...disbelieve....? Just move on! Move on coz life is too small for small grouses....too small really!

A small beginning has been made, tried at least! Let us build up on this! Let the countries come together again.... it is a difficult path no doubt! But a path does exist! And we gotta take that path..the path less trodden! Don't forget the past...but use it to build your future.....

Nothing is Planned... things happen!

Chow!

Back to life!

2005-11-17T19:31:00.000-08:00

After a few days in wilderness and confusion, I'm back to life! Dada would object to me writing about life 'n all...but hey! Who cares!

So attended all lectures today!!! And went to a guest lecture on marketing that discussed everything except marketing!!!! All for believing LSG!

Ok, better things now! Got done with German once and for all! Finally!!! Frau Bandhu asks me for some feedback....and I tell her that I'm better off learning Deutsch on my own!!! I think that pretty well takes care of my CP! ...and my marks in German too!!! Its been a grade week... first comes the grade sheet...long overdue! And then the legal grades!

Oops...seems I'm writing only about studies 'n all! That's coz that's what happened this week....has been a pretty hectic week, just as it happens before the exams!! Am just back from a session of cake cutting! Had some really good cake in a long time really! It was Namz's birthday and I got a rare invite to attend! So I compensate for the dinner I missed tonite!! What else.... hmm... finished talking to some good friends. Dunno, but feel like talking after a pretty long time.. I sometimes get into this mood when I just don't want to talk to anyone! But I bounce back...'n how!! Ok nothing more to write.... no there is! I wrote some lines during the crap lecture I attended today...see if you like it!

On a balmy Friday nite...
When the world's all too quiet...
I sit by the sea...thinking of you.

I think of the days when you were here...
Lying in my arms without a care...
I long for those days again, I long for you again.

I pine for a glimpse of that angelic face...
I wait for a look from those doe eyes...
I wait, I wait for that day of my life
When I can tell the world that you are mine again?!!!

Random, confused, and nowhere to go

2005-11-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

I am lost, but I don't know where!
I am broken, but I don't know why!
Where will this life lead me to? To my goals, to the SUN, that I aim to reach?

I roam about, knowing not what to do... I am a traveller without a destination...
I am a hunter without a prey, I am the world without a SUN!

Let there be light, oh...let there be light,
I want to see the world, I want to enjoy my life...

I have no clue where I would be, I simply do not care!
I have no clue who will be with me, I simply do not know!

All I know is I have some time...some time to enjoy, some time for happiness and some time for sorrows! Some time, some time for all that's ever worth it!

The twinkle in her eyes...

2005-11-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

The twinkle in her eyes...say's she loves me
But her lips never reveal this...

The carving of her lips...say's she wants me
but her hands never touch me...

The look in her eyes...say they care for me
The blood red eyes...say I excite her

When will she go insane over me...and say those three twinkling words

"I love you"

The twinkle in her eyes....

Why?

2005-11-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

Why do I love...
When I know you only hate!

Why do I wait...
When I know you would be late!

Why do I look for you tomorrow...
When I know you were gone yesterday!

Why do I even bother...
When I know it doesn't even matter!

Why does my heart bleed...
When it knows you do not care!

Why do I still remember...
When I know you are only a memory!

Why do I still pine for you?
Why do I still care for you?
Why, Why, Why... do I still want you, when I know we can never be one again!

Impressions

2005-11-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

The reply to my last post put me thinking! Impressions people have... how do people get impressions? Why must you think that this guy is crazy, this one studious!?

They say, first impressions are the best impressions or something! Is it always true? I have never believed in that. And I have also never cared what people think about me first time up! Maybe that's the reason that a lot of people have varied ('n I dare say, mistaken! ) impressions about me! And some of these do stick! Very much!

While on relaionships and impressions, I have often wondered...how often it is that you enter into a relationship just on first impressions....'n found out that it is not all that there is to it! There is something much more, something more than just what you thought on seeing the person! And how many times do you just compromise, just because you made the choice!? So can't you just wait that few seconds, wait to understand ... wait to form an impression?

My friend, Sravan says a boy and girl can never be just friends... 'n I still tell him they can! You only think you cannot be friends because you often enter into the friendship with an impression, an impression that you can be in a relationship with the other. Just take it as it comes, and you will realize when it's friendship and when it's love!

Impressions, by Ray Jennings puts this across beautifully.

"A lifetime can be likened to a lonely beach of sand.
a stranger makes a mark one day, an imprint of a hand"

That mark is an impression...and it is never a first time impression, it is never a quick decision! It is an impression over a longer time, an impression that lasts! Jennings concludes....

"Time does its best to wash away remembrances of those -
the ones we never meant to meet - the ones we never chose.
But as through some odd twist of fate these are the ones we cherish.
The time we spend with these such friends, will never, ever perish"

Friends ... as you will note above... can be either guys or gals.... but the important thing is the relationship is still friendship! Not love! Sparks do fly my friend Sravan, but only after some time. Not on first impressions, and never always between a guy and a girl...never always!

Chow!

Relationships

2005-11-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

Got a call from a female friend of mine yesterday! We talked for about an hour before she hung up. I just got into thinking about relationships, but couldn't put something down. The weekend was too busy for me to blog.

Relationships....Mother, Father, friends, relatives, and then close friends, real close friends.... 'n then maybe a girlfriend/boyfriend. How do we relate to each of these? At different levels perhaps!? A mother/father can be like a friend, yes, .... but never a friend! The kind of relationship you enjoy with a friend is so different, coz you relate ate a different level. And then comes the question of girls...a girl as just a friend? Is it really possible? Yes, I say! No way!, so say many of my esteemed friends!

What is it about a boy and girl that is so strange? Why can't they share a good relationship...a good friendship, and nothing else!? People say that love always comes in between. I say that love always exists!!! Love is not something that is viewed in the narrow way that most people observe it! Love is all encompassing and does and must exist between friends.

Yes, there are relationships where love dominates more than friendship, but they are different... the level is different. And there are heartbreaks! And there are situations where you really do not know where you are - in friendship or in love. And these are the tricky ones - you profess your love...only to risk your friendship; or remain friends .... only to regret that you didn't say those words!!!

What does one do? Burn in the eternal fire of desire and longing or burn in the flames of rejection?
As Lord Tennyson says,

"...The silence of all hearts, Unutterable LOVE"

If only love was so easy, the world would have been a better place to live!

Sometimes it becomes so unbearable...the flame within you, the sense of loneliness, the desire to be with someone...and this is where relationships come in. And you never know when these turn into something more, more than friendship, more than love itself!! But you are silent...coz you assume! Because the world has taught you so! As Frost says,

"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the secret sits in the middle and knows"

The secret of a relationship? No one knows, at least I don't! All you do is live life... and wait for it to give you cues...cues that you hope you will recognize!

"They are all around", as the wise King tells the shepherd-boy in Paulo Coelho's Alchemist.. the cues are all around!

Maktub!

Broken hearts!

2005-11-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Broken hearts.... two words that almost everyone who has passed the teens relates to. How many days spent longing for the loved one, how many spent crying over the fights that we have had, and the laughter that we have shared. Yet, we move on... only to go back to them again. Coz people move on, memories don't!

The first day I saw her, I wanted nothing but her. Nothing in this world would ever matter so much, as much as her smile, her tresses ... falling on her face.... Yet, it does not always work out such! Boss up there has different plans!! You move on, people move on... memories don't!

And it is not only a question of love. Best friendships are broken, never to be mended again. And by the time you go back, you have nothing left! All that is left are memories! So many friends lost, and you realize their importance only when you need them the most, when you are all alone, and need that shoulder to rest on.

Some relationships are broken for no reason whatsoever, really no reason at all. And you never know why you even thought of breaking them. But break you did. And you realize how stupid you were only in hindsight! A pity really that man wants every relation in the world...yet is responsible for breaking them in the first place.

And then begins the process of rebuilding... a process as slow and painful as life itself. Or as death itself! Depends on how you look at it. It's never easy... and you can be rest assured that you are not going to get back that relationship again... anything you salvage is only a compromise. You have lost a chance once, the next time is not your choice, it is HIS!

I do not pretend that the pain I felt that night was any greater or less than the pain of anyone else; nor the draw to deaden that pain any more or less powerful. These are the moments when the world spills over with evil and everything good, true, and beautiful is crushed. But this is also when hope always springs up! This cycle is what keeps life going.

As Wilde says, " Hearts live by being wounded " How very true!

These are some lines that I always like to read.... again and again..

" i've been living my life alone
trying to get you out of my life
but after all this time
i can't help myself but miss you "

To all your broken hearts, LOVE... all over again!

Johny!

2005-11-07T23:52:00.000-08:00

"Johny's expired", says the mail. Just two words! Have we become so inert that we just mention death without even batting an eyelid? Johny was some distant cousin. She was mentally unstable....some disease in her childhood made sure that she remained a child even at age 30!

Her mother was very attached to her; which mother isn't? Her mother had a lot of difficulty managing her, but the brave woman that she is, never uttered a word ... never a word! And then she cried ... cried for a little girl, a woman trapped in the mind of a little girl. A tear ... it's worth many unsaid words ... and feelings.

I was thinking about it... death no longer evokes the kind of emotions in us as it used to ... I don't know. But I have seen people feel for the dead... there was a sense of belonging with the dead... it's all gone now... just death... death, as if it is the most common thing to happen. The dead die, and we move on! For the so called rich man, Death now only means a will that would give him more of material riches? And for the poor man, an added expenditure, which he would rather spend on his starving children.

I still remember the day she died.... I rushed home on receiving the news that she had collapsed. I learnt later that she had already been dead then! I went only to see her remains... in an ice box. It all looked so strange, as if the dead were not a person, just something .. to be displayed to the world, and that too in an ice box ... such insensitivity

People have only good things to say about the dead, or so they say is the case in India. But people everywhere say the same things. It is as if they have rehearsed all their lives for this one golden moment.

I sometimes worry that humanity has forgetten the value of a human life. The dead are just statistics in the bureau of the government. The dead would be no more, not in this world, not in the hearts of loved ones, just numbers... numbers!

In a single snap of a twig , motion of a wave , flicker of an eyelid….. one single second of an elation precedes an endless era of trauma ……….. pain and finally death !

finally death!

MARK!

2005-11-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

MARK! You would be surprised that a name such as MARK translates to ARK Murty... Adivi Radha Krishna Murty!

(That's Mark on the extreme right of the pic)

MARK ... I met him online much before I joined the MBA programme here! He was all guitars and rock music n stuff! I thought...wow! Some guy this! I imagined a punk kid... spoilt by the influences of the western world! When I met him, frankly I was surprised!!! Never imagined him to be the guy that he looked like! But then, that is what happens when u make up mental images!

All of us were quite surprised that he didn't want to call himself Murty...preferring the "rock" version of his name! We decided we would call him Mark...'n such that he would hate someone calling him that!!! Still remember the first day @ IIT, all of us were up till about 3 in the morn, and then Mark decides he wants a smoke! We all decide to accompany him to see where he gets his dose! And @ 3 in the morn, this guy goes to the Velachery gate (n that was closed, if my memory serves me right!) and somehow manages to call a guy who gives him the stuff he needs! Now that's resourcefulness!!!

A nice guy though, had (has!) big dreams, and knowing him, he will sure try hard.... for his dreams! He did his summers with me @ Ogilvy and I really saw what he was capable of! His boss made him slog...and slog he did! And brought out a wonderful report on the Bike industry in India! A real good piece of work! That he was left without work for the rest of his summers is another story!!! And his Mumbai struggles would fill up another post altogether!!

Hmm...about him.... plays the guitar (I won't say how! ) and then listens to some stuff I don't understand!!! He learns German sincerely (but for what reason I fail to understand! People tell me he teaches German to some junior girls after class! ) And of course flirts big time with GOD knows how many girls! And he has an able partner in Batra for this!!
We really love pulling his leg...and the good fella that he is...takes it in good spirits! (not that he has a choice anyways!) And yeah, spirits he does take! A whole PEG of them!!!

Btw, the reason why I write this piece is coz I receive an sms from an irate Mark,
"Saale not a single story about me in the whole of your blog!"

Here you go Mark...my friend.... a whole piece dedicated to you!!!

Peace!

The road to paradise!

2005-11-05T22:07:00.000-08:00

Well, had a great trip to Mahabs (thts Mahabalipuram for short!) yesterday! A great day for an outing, what with the rains n all!

Ghone comes to my room at 1546 hrs.,

"Let's go on a drive to Mahabs!"

Rocked out of my siesta, I am like...."What!??"

Dada tells me, "We'll get some hot bhajjis and tea!"

Still in a daze, I tell him this is not the Hindi movies, no one in Chennai will be out in the rains!!!

The fellas say, "U r coming!" Hmm...have no choice....but hey, what the heck, its a glorious day, fit for an outing!!!

So off we trudge along, first to get the bikes and then off we are, with Chu to complete the quatret!!

And then begins a trip to paradise...have seen many sights on a beautiful day, but this really was gorgeous! Maybe more so coz there's nothin' else to do in Chennai!!

The ECR (that's East Coast Road!! ) is as beautiful as ever, and the beaches on the side looks so beautiful! Wish I had a videocam, this was one scene worth capturing...the beaches as we zipped along the bike!

There's something about the virgin beaches in the South! They invoke the deepest emotions, the passion in any normal person!

Lost in the mundane rituals, you forget your desires, you forget the 'connect' with nature, you forget that you are a product of nature first before anything else!!! You need to get back to nature, sometime at least, to realize where you belong!

But human nature is such, your stomach brings you back to reality very soon! So we hungry souls search for a place where we would get hot bhajjis! Find a shack (it was touted as some restaurant...was more of a rundown shack! ) where the fellow's from Orissa and speaks Hindi!! He agrees to make some bhajjis, but has no tea!!! Ah! What luck! But something at least! Order for some plates and then move to another store where we have some packaged stuff that Capitalism dumps upon us!

Must mention the bhajjis and the omlettes that we had! First, we are damn hungry, and then this beautiful weather..... makes even the most mundane of dishes taste like nectar! The food cost us a royal 200 bucks! 20 bucks for 5 pieces of potatoes and onions dipped in some batter! And the fellow says he gave us a discount!! Dada tells me onions are costly nowadays!! Buffoon! Not so costly!!!! Anyways, it was worth the experience! ('n we had no choice but to pay!!! )

Next, we decide to move to the beach. "Its getting late", says Abhi! Forget it man! We are already moving towards the beach! The path is a marshland! Water here and water there! Add to that some big holes in the ground, even saw a snake go into one o' them! Wow!

And then some shrubs growing all along the sand.... some thorny shrub... 'n Ghone and me are the beneficiaries of its bite!!!! Finally we reach the beach front! What a view...it is beyond my meagre vocabulary to describe that sight! The swirling wind, the dark clouds waiting to pour, and the crashing waves.... as if to remind humanity, in a small way perhaps, of a force beyond, a force that we may least comprehend!!!

As Frost says,

" Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"

It really paid to visit that gorgeous beach, the one less visited, but that had so much to offer! 'twas getting dark and the journey back to the road was a journey in itself! Chu shows a tree as a landmark! We find that the beach is lined up with such trees! Anyway, we somehow find a way back, a way that will lead us back to our lives, back to reality!

We stop by on our way to have tea....a beautiful creation of man..this tea! Ah! Having tea on a cold, rainy day! Must say, is an awesome experience in itself! And then the rains began! Not that it was raining before, but this was HEAVY!!!! And to add to it, Dada's bike giving some problems!! And the rain makes visibility almost zero!!! And the drops falling like pins on our faces!!!

Completely drenched and with no place to stop, we decide to drive on..... till we reach home...IITM!

I decide to write my blog, but nah! It was too good a day and all I wanted was to sleep! And that I did!

I'll end with Frost again!

"Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
(I've enjoyed my day.....)
Into the future. Let what will be, be."

Eid mubarak!!!

2005-11-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

It is a holiday today, to celebrate the festival of Eid! Don't really understand the need for holidays for such occasions in India...why not just allow people who wish to celebrate take a day off?! But then, this is India!!!

My friend Kanchan wishes me "Eid Mubarak"
I say: "Why me!??"
She says: "Secularism!!!!"

No more comments on this issue!

So a holiday it is! I decide to get some things done. Read the newspaper completely! Read the latest issue of BT! (It's 2330 hrs and I haven't read a page!!! ) But yeah, did some work today, so a day's not lost!!! Reading a stupid case now....TI cycles!!! As if my problems weren't enough, I have to solve these guys' problems!!!

Bihari promised he would clean his room today. But apart from the mop of hair on his head, I guess he hasn't cleaned anything!!! But that's always the case with him! I think I must get a cam and post some of the fotos here...U'll know what Bihari's room looks like!!!

Oh! Even I had a haircut today!!! A crew cut! My typical cut.... Will try to post the latest pics too! Someone lend me a camera!!!

What else, hmmm...... nothing much to write today.. it rained again in Chennai and there's another depression building up! Huh! Chennai and rains...Life has this strange way of throwing surprises at you. And to think the TN govt. used to beg for water from Karnataka... now it is asking for Central aid coz the Mettur dam was full and so excess water was released... flooding the nearby villages!!!

Ok, lemme get back to some studies....TI cycles! Will write something later....

Chow

Main aur mera..... PDA!

2005-11-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Mithun tells me I should write something about my "famed" PDA! He says its an integral part of ME and must be included in my blog! So here goes..... presenting my PDA!!!

It's a cool device to have! (though Prof. Vrags would argue over the definition of "cool"! ) Helps you organize your life better! And of course the normal functions of a fone, and smsing, ofcourse! Smsing is free here and it is so easy typing out smses in the PDA! Now don't ask me who all I sms...that's a long list!!!

The pic shows me with the PDA...typing away to glory!!! Btw....it is a Motorola make... model: A760! (if u were interested in the tech. specs.!!! ) A good piece to have... I've had it for 1-1/2 years now and it has served me well!

An integral part of my being? Hmm...maybe yes! But then, a cell fone has become one nowadays!

Ciao!

Controversy!!

2005-11-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

My friend (a lotta folks here are surprised I use this word so often! ) Bihari says I should write something controversial!!! Now the problem is not that I can't write about something controversial but the fact that it may end up opening old wounds! Let things lie....no?

Ok, but if controversy is required, then I will mention something... I think an incident that all of us here would definitely relate to! I'll try to put it as subtly as possible!

All began as an initiative to get a B School fest going! Was a fairly successful event, given that it was the inaugural year! All of us worked hard, worked really hard! But some raw nerves were touched...or so it seems, in hindsight!

The next time around, things soured a bit! What was meant to be a routine affair went haywire!! Things were not that bad even then! But then came a colorful mail! And then it was MAYHEM!!!! A total of 13 mails (Someone told me that it was inauspicious ... I don't believe in that crap, but hmm....seems something was up!) within a spate of two days.... and then the battle lines were drawn.... one side against the other... You were either here or there! The world against the FAMILY! Ah! This reminds me of the GODFATHER... remember the Corleones and the "FAMILY"?

So, the preparations for the BIG DAY commence. (If you thought the big day was something, u r mistaken!!! It was just a meeting called... yet turned out to be momentous!)

And the meeting happened...and with that, the group was divided! But must say, it was great fun... must have captured some images on cam! Such stupidity!!! The result? No fest! All work, no play! 'n to top it up, the blame's on the FAMILY!

But some incidents teach you much more than what you will ever learn in all your life! So you always have this learning to take with you! 'n some real good friendships too! And some new lingo..... never heard before words.... "transparency", "unity", "segmentation" (no I didn't understand this in marketing class! )

One year hence, things are revving up again! Chingari lagi hai fir se! Ab use bujhaane saawan kaha se aayega! Dekhte hai hota hai kya! Waise, many would already know what will happen! Kyunki....

"Samajhdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hota hai"

Happy Birthday SRK!

2005-11-02T06:59:00.001-08:00

It's King Khan's birthday today! Here's wishing him a very happy birthday and many more hits @ the Box Office in the future.

SRK says he'll try to quit smoking "in the interest of good health!" Better late than never guru!

SRK is now in NYC, shooting for Kabhi Alvida na kehna... which looks to become another blockbuster in SRK's career.. here's one fan eagerly awaiting the movie!

Indiatimes.com, in its feature on the Badshah says...

"He's the Goliath of Bollywood. Shah Rukh Khan. Icon of Uber Man - The superstar who made metrosexual, intensely masculine with the Lux ad. He's got the spine, we'll give him that! Only SRK can get into a bath-tub sprinkled with rose petals and talk about ‘the secret of beauty.’ "

Plagued by serious back problems, and back after a serious operation, SRK continues to rule Bollywood!

Here's saluting the Superstar, on his 40th birthday! Keep Rocking!

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty
they merely move it from their faces into their hearts

Back to work!

2005-11-02T05:14:00.000-08:00

Back to regular gyaan sessions @ DoMS!!! After Diwali n all, here I am...back to routine! But there's hope yet...Friday's Eid - a holiday and then Saturday, Sunday and Monday off!!! WOW!!!

But guess what????? Prof. Thenmozhi (forget it if u can't spell that..most of us have a difficulty! )
has work lined up for all these days...'n I'm sure Prof. Vrags will also have something lined up when we meet tomorrow!
Now the reason I'm blogging away now is coz my dear friend Kris is busy typing away some report when we were suppossed to meet for the GBM preesentation tomorrow!!! Stupid fellow!!

Anyways...how was my day? Ah.... nothing in the morning, gyaan session thru' the aftie... 1300 to 1700 hrs.... and then back to 408, Jam!!! A brief stop @ the Nescafe outlet though! The girl's hostel one!!!! Daily dose of coffee u see!!!

Bought a new mic so that I can chat away on Google talk! Lets see how it works...let some girl come online!!! That fellow Kris is now ready, so gotta go!

Peace!

DIWALI DHAMAKA!

2005-11-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

This is a glimpse of what we had!

Mmmmm.... delicious!

Some fotos!

2005-11-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

I mentioned 'bout the chocolate coated biscuits we had today.... (in fact yesterday..!) So here are some pics of the same.... Dada was gorging away to glory..pity Mithun didn't capture that on his cam!

Thanks to Zak for the pics.... here u go!

Chow!

Diwali

2005-11-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

It's Diwali...the festival of lights! One of the most important and exciting festivals in the Indian calendar. So what did I do? Had loads of fun, masti!!! To add more color to the occasion, my parents had come down from Mumbai, so it was a double party time! Visited some relatives around Chennai city too.... (when ur parents come down, u need to do all these things also!! )

I wake up today morning and my cell (my friends like to call it PDA, they say I call it that way, but I don't care what u call a cell! ) has 10 new smses waiting for me! All friends wishing me a happy diwali.... (some even wishing I get Shanti, Shakti, Sneha, Jyoti, Kiran.....'n all other bar girls of Mumbai!!! Lol! the wierd ideas ppl get with Indian names! )

Called up a lot of friends in Mumbai and Chennai, feels good to talk to everyone once in a while..
Talked to good ol' friend Sharin from Chandigarh! Spl. mention of her coz everytime I call her, the lines cut, not once or twice, but many times over! 'n the girl will not call back!

I slept thru' many kids' attempts to wake me up with the cound of crackers, atom bombs (nt the real ones!!!! ) and electrics. But I'm a seasoned pro though...slept for about 4 hours flat...in the afternoon.

Here I am, back in 408, Jam (if u didn't know, this is my room number in IIT - if u didn't know this, what are u reading this blog for!!! ) typing away to glory. We just opened a pack of chocolate coated biscuits, mmmmm and they were delicious! Disappeared in a jiffy! But there's more in my bag...will open stuff slowly!

My parents leave for the beautiful city of Mumbai tomorrow. Here's wishing them a very safe journey.

'n here's wishing every one of you out there a very HAPPY and SAFE Diwali! Have lots of fun, lots of sweets, and share what you have with everyone. Yeah, sharing does increase the joy manyfold! Take my word!!! Adieu!

My blog on Yahoo!!!

2005-10-26T12:23:00.001-07:00

Hmmm... I posted my first blog on Yahoo now! Not exactly the thing I must be doing though! Have an assignment due tomorrow and have to start working on the case!!! It's raining like hell here in Chennai and I'm simply in no mood to work. All I need is a hot cutting (Mumbai ppl would understand this!) and hot pakoras!!! Wow! 'n what do I have? Stuck up in my room...staring at a case asking me what a company should have done! If they can't solve their problems, what are they there for! :))

Ok so I get back to my work.... Good Nite! (My dear friend Nakul will object to me using "nite" instead of "night"....he says my English is corrupted, he would never use the American spelling!!! I differ! ;) )

Peace!

Back to the grind

2005-10-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Long time since I filled up my blog with something! Yeah, am back to my grind.... studies, gym, ... 'n what else??? hmm..... now that's worth a thought! What do I do apart from studies and gymming? Yeah, read the newspaper, surf the net, .... sit at Nescafe drinking Mocha! But even that has reduced...rarely visit Nescafe nowadays. I do sms a lot..... now that's another story... the story of smses... the romance of it all! ;) Romances do begin over smses .. believe me! I my case over a conversation with an unknown yet unidentified female!!!! We are good friends now..lets see how things go!!!! :D

Ok then, that's all for now... rest in the next!

Final GOODBYE

2005-07-19T04:13:00.000-07:00

It was a final good bye to Ogilvy today. Went to meet Rahul. He went thru' my projects...was fairly satisfied, I guess. Said bye to him and gave him the feedback form. Bugger wants IIT to pay for the courier charges! LOL!

Got my stripend today. Felt really good.....dunno but the wad of cash in my wallet really made me very very happy!! :)

Ok then, nothing much to write now!

Abhilasha hai ki....(Abhilasha means desire!!!) i'll be done with all the printouts, my presentations, etc. by this weekend.

Ek sher unke naam!

2005-07-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

har yaad jatayi nahi jaati, har baat batayi nahi jaati;
kuch aisi pyaar ki baatein hai, jo bas unkahi hi kahi jaati hai,
humne to keh diya bahut kuch aankhon se,
par woh kabhi nazar milate nahi to kya karen.

Sarkar - the review

2005-07-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, to sum up Sarkar in one word, it is Fabulous!

There are some points that could have been taken care of: a bit of editing here and there, but would grant those to Ram Gopal Varma (RGV) and his team. I watched this film for three main reasons: AB and his baby, it's a "tribute" (in Ramu's words!) to Godfather and the likeness of Sarkar to Balasaheb. Now, my admiration for Balasaheb need not be mentioned here. everyone who knows me well enough knows that I adore Balasaheb.

Ok, now for the film.....begins in the classic Godfather style.....was done superbly... a man asking Sarkar for help in avenging his daughter's death. And the next scene - violence at its very best! Yeah, it was a gory scene...not for the faint hearted...but real good scene value.

The arrest of Sarkar so much resembled Balasaheb's arrest. RGV tries to mix a bit of Balasaheb's life and Godfather. Typically Bollywood mentality! :)

The film dragged a bit in the middle. Guess RGVand Co. lost track. But they more than made up for it in the final sequences. The way AB junior goes about avenging the back stabbing of Sarkar is worth watching. If not for anything, watch the film for these scenes-simplay amazing!! Superb stuff! Such cold murder, yet so superbly executed. And the scene where AB junior announces that he killed his brother is gut wrenching. Watch out for Big B's acting in that scene.....and the next dialogue.... "Ab?"

Awesome film, do try to watch it at least once. A really good film made after a long time. At least RGV and Co. did not make a hash of Godfather...as so many of our directors do in the name of "tribute"!

***** 5 stars: Excellent

Exodus @ Ogilvy????

2005-07-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well, well....
seems there's gonna be an exodus of sorts @ Ogilvy - that too only a day after I completed my summers! Now, don't blame me for this - I have no role!

Close chum Sunil's gonna leave I guess; and Ashoo's planning to leave for some time now! The Asian Paints team would face a severe shortage of staff! Take me in, Rahul! (btw: Rahul happens to be my boss!)

Anyways, to each man his own. All the best to all employees of O&M, where ever they may be.

Enjoyed this weekend a lot. Watched Sarkar on Saturday and spent the whole of Sunday travelling around. Brought some trinkets outside Churchgate station and also some books.

Got 3 books for 200 bucks....not a bad deal, no? :) More about Sarkar in my next post.

2005-07-16T04:20:00.000-07:00

I, Me, Myself

2005-07-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

Just added a pic of me and Borgohain! Borgohain resembles a dhobi no? That's exactly what he was going to do...wash his clothes! :D

Some random thoughts.....

2005-07-16T03:33:00.000-07:00

Mere marne ke baad mere jalne se pahle aye yaaro....
Nikal lena mere is dil ko, kahi is mein rehne waali jal jaaye.............

woh pehli mulaaqaat, meethi si bekhudi.... bas un do palon mein ho gayee,
kya se kya ye zindagi!

kehna to bahut chahte hain unse, kehna to bahut chahte hain...
dar lagta hai, kehte kehte kahin ye zindagi kam na pad jaaye.

wonder why I'm writing all this stuff? Well, suddenly got in the mood! Haven't got the time to write some stuff close to my heart all these days. Been really busy all these 2 months. Finished my internship yeasterday. Was a difficult thing to do...say bye to all those wonderful folks @ Ogilvy! Don't know.....but my chances of being there are remote. My dreams are different, my aim is different! And being there would not help my dreams in any way!

Have some days to myself now. Time to think ahead, make decisions! I really hope all that I have learnt from my internship helps me in life. Ultimately, grades matter...only to an extent.

Life is the ultimate grader...'n we better watch out! :)

Signing off....

hazaron khwaishein aisi ki har khwaish pe dum nikle,
bahut nikle mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle.

Jai Hind.

Just some thoughts...

2005-07-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

"Life goes on as it never ends....", say Backstreet Boys in their song, 'Show me the meaning'. Going thru' somewhat the same now. There have been great friends, but none as close as her. Will I ever love again? Nope, that love was hers, is hers. It cannot be anyone else's.

Saw SRK's Kal Ho Naa Ho. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched that film. It came at a very important time in my life. I was down and with my back to the wall then. Everything I had aimed for seemed so far away. I picked up the thread from where I left it then! Seems I now need someone, someone really improtant in my life. The time's right!

Is she listening????

Final week ahead!

2005-07-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

It's my final week @ Ogilvy. Feel both happy and sad! Happy to have done a summer internship... quite well I must say! It was a gr8 learning experience! Sa, coz I would be leaving a beautiful office, beautiful people ..... one of the best places to work at. Not to forget the great friends I made here, many summer trainees.....interaction for 2 months; friendship for ever! I will miss this place for sure. Don't think I would return back though, though the reasons for that are different.

Had to buy a new charger for my cell phone. Pity I had to spend on it, I broke the old one, so the warranty was void. So much so for a Saturday afternoon wasted!

My presentation has been scheduled for July 30th. I can go to IIT late now, can spend some more time @ home now.

Operation COLOR

2005-06-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is it! My summer project has well and truly begun from today. It's a project to analyze consumers' decision making behavior towards choosing a shade of paint for their interiors. I have laid down a plan to cpmplete the stuff in three weeks from now. Three weeks....'n I mean it!

Seems that I have to do a lot of typing on my notebook this time. Whatever I have done here at Ogilvy so far has been dutifully recorded in my notes in my beautiful handwriting!!! But who will type it out???? Hmm...seems only I have to do it! :(

A great F1 outing at Montreal yesterday, with Schumi finally finding some form (and a podium position!) Though he could have gone on to win, nevertheless, well done Schumi! And well done Kimi...great race! Not to forget our own Reubens....who finished a creditable third after starting from the pits. Tifosi celebrate!!!

Here I am at Ogilvy, Monday morn at 9:30 a.m and I see no one around. No one comes here before 10:30...at least not my team members! :)

Ok then, have to start work on Operation COLOR now.

Adieu................

Saturday Nite fever!!!

2005-06-11T03:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday's here!!!! One more week of my Summer internships goes by and I still haven't started questioning people!!! anyways, this is not to discuss all that.

I spoke to my friends from college today: Hippo and DU! seems DU too has started a blog but knowing him, it would be filled up by others, who I'm sure have the username and password to access his blog! :)

Talked to my senior, Arindam today. He'll be here in Mumbai for 4 more days before he is sent off to that lifeless ol' place called Chennai! Meanwhile, I still haven't caught up on Star Wars 3! 'n now my list of have to see movies is becoming larger by the day! Have to catch up on Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Batman Begins too!

I got up early today....9:30 am to be precise!!!!!! :D 'n spent the whole morning lazing around! Read the newspaper though...have started reading it completely...word to word.... I used to do that before...but MBA pressures are different! Even reading a newspaper completely becomes difficult.

DU tells me his project is over!!!! :-o I gotta buck up!!! I have a plan in mind...so from this Monday..... it is OPERATION COLOR!!!!

Adieu!

Sunday nite blues!

2005-06-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Sunday nite! weekend's over...have to get back to work tomorrow! Didn't do a lot this weekend, apart frm watching some movies on DVD and roaming around a bit! Not much happening this weekend for me. Have to start work on my project from tomm. Have to get a bitserious on this front...really want to do well on this front. This is the chance to do well in a non academic setting and show everyone what I'm worth! :)

So one more week of hectic activity ahead! Won't have much time to blog.... keep your comments pouring in! Adieu!!!